In between being & doing.

In a recent counseling session I openly shared with my therapist that there was one regret I came to terms with the week of my mother’s passing; I was so consumed with the role of caretaker that I diminished my role as daughter. You see, my mother passed one week and a day from us discovering that her cancer was spreading through her body. Yes, ONE week. I was so busy texting everyone, calling doctors, trying to ensure that she wasn’t in any pain, organizing nursing rotations that I missed moments to just talk with her when she had energy. I was so “busy” that I didn’t savor the very last moments because I wanted to be such a good caretaker.

Fast forward now almost 9 months. Here I am, with the last memories of exactly what doctors I talked to, who came to visit, what foods she ate, but no last questions answered...no video chats taken... no voice recordings left to replay. ONE week & in an instant, she was gone.

I’ve replayed that week hundreds of times as I began to prepare for life in 2020 without her and I’ve come to the conclusion that I refuse to let my “doing” remove me from my “being.”
I’ve spent months worried over people’s feelings, if they were offended by something I said or did, catering to unhealthy relationships & I’ve made a notion to just stop.

To guard to sanctity of my marriage, to embrace what I have in front of me, to allow myself the freedom to be selfish for my wholeness. To be a daughter.

I want to be here to take in the laughter, the tears, the memories and not just the duty to please. So, join me in saying yes to your own well-being... for you.