“Here we go again…”
You know better.
How many times do we have to keep going over this?
I seriously can’t believe this is happening again.
Please tell me you are better than this?
Anyone else ever heard these words? Or better yet, have you ever told them to yourself? There’s nothing worse than disappointing someone you love. It can even feel like a form of betrayal. Your own guilt and shame continuing to wrestle in your mind. The hurt you carry when that ugly feeling inside takes over. It’s like a cycle of reiterating the mistake(s) in your daily planner. Your mind is clouded by what you could’ve, should’ve, or wanted to do differently.
I’m here to inform you that disappointment to yourself or to others is inevitable! It will happen, I promise. Another PSA is that YOU WILL BE ALRIGHT! Yes, I know the ugly feeling that eats you up inside, keeps you up all night, fogs your thinking, & all together can stress you the heck out. But, the sun will still rise the next morning. Amongst the 100,000 other distractions we encounter on a daily basis, disappointment waits in the line waving its flag to be seen, heard, felt, and tended to. And, you have the right to cater to it as you see fit. I do want to remind you that you hold the key to the amount of time you entertain it though. Give it an expiration date.
Let me paint the picture for you from my own experience. Last week my husband and I received some alarming mail from court that I allowed to ruin my ENTIRE weekend. Like, FRIDAY, SATURDAY, SUNDAY. I felt an entire rollercoaster of emotions. Disappointment was definitely at the top of the list. I was fueled by anger, ranting all my valid reasons of why I didn’t deserve this, listing my oh-so-holy illustrations of how this was so unfair, crying out, so frustrated I couldn’t eat, & justification after justification. I was down right disappointed. This circumstance, obviously completely out of my control, still makes my blood a little hot. This particular incident riled me up so much I couldn’t even post my blog last week and I was almost tempted to just not post today.
This morning, I called one of my mentors just to have a chat about some work stuff and she asked the polite question of, “Mija, how are you guys doing?”, and this was my chance! I was ready to just rant and rave till the walls fell down because I knew for SURE she would be on my side. This was my power pumping session and I was gonna go on a full on rampage after. The fuel I needed to really have the justification I knew I deserved. After about 15 minutes of my beautiful spectacle, she paused for a couple seconds and said, “Mija, you never give anyone the power to hold your peace”. (mic drop)
I was a little taken back… like, didn’t you hear ANYTHING I said about the other person and how they were in the wrong? I mean, I had at least a good 5 reasons. After her comment, tears began to stream down my face as she continued on to tell me (in the most loving way) that my heart and my behavior needed to be altered, Why hadn’t I thought about it in the way she had described? Well, because disappointment had set up camp and was blocking my full view of the bigger picture and I had refused to move.
Disappointment gives the fuel to our emotions that can lead the mindset we CHOOSE to operate from. And the more disappointment we continue to use as an anchor, the more we allow the chaos of it to rule our lives. All in all, disappointment is something we need to approach with an understanding that it won’t be the last time. I know, isn’t that in itself disappointing? We are entrusted with the choice. I’m not dismissing the hurts that true emotions that come along with being disappointed, I’m merely painting the picture that you have the choice to use different colors to paint over that picture.
Most of us in this season have or will experience some type of disappointment. We can also experience the reset of disappointment that postures us in a completely different mindset.
Disappointment makes way for new innovation of the heart.
Disappointment makes way for rebuilding NEW thoughts and approaches.
Disappointment makes way for a regeneration of your thinking.
Disappointment makes way for a well, a new way!
