The year of the twenty-three

This will hands down be the easiest blog post to write about. The reason being, this weeks entry is about my best friend, Giann Quijano, who’s actually my husband, duh. Although he has his quirks and irritating ways to get to me, there is way more good stuff to expound upon… he’s just, that guy!

Okay, so, the year of the twenty-three, what does that mean? Let me give you a little backstory to why this is so significant. In 2014 my husband was approaching his twenty-third birthday. Yes, you read that right. And if you’re new to our love story, this is where it gets good- so pay attention! It was about a couple weeks before his birthday and we started talking about the plans of how we were going to celebrate. We were out on a date at our fave tea spot when he made the comment that this would be his Jordan year. Yeah, as in Michael Jordan. I thought to myself… “He’s got something a little off because, Jordan’s number is twenty-three and I know I’m not actually dating a TWENTY-TWO YEAR OLD!” - just a little advice when you are beginning the dating relationship- ASK HOW OLD THEY ARE. Umm… yeah, I’m dead serious. We had been dating since December and I had yet to even ask how old he was (!!!!!!!).

Alright, let’s get to the good stuff and why his birthday especially is so significant to us (I know that’s why you’re here today and trust me, I will make it worth the read).

Let’s now fast-forward to mid April... By this time, yes, he was twenty-three. We had finally come out to the world of social media and life all around that we were dating. It was serious business. During this time I was in the middle of preparing for a major conference that our Women’s ministry hosted and it was insanely busy for us both. Giann at the time worked for our media department and we were both full force in this planning.

We happened to plan a simple date night of just ordering pizza and watching movie at his house (yes, with his parents home). It was getting close to 11 pm and my curfew at the time was 11:30pm. I vividly remember glancing over at him while the movie was wrapping up and saying, “Hey, I need you to take me home soon, I have an early morning” and I also remember looking at his face seeing the his entire demeanor had changed. But, not because I said I had to go. This, this look, was so different. His face was white and I noticed he kept clenching his hands to open and close. He leans over with a strange look on his face and says, “I can’t drive you home, you’re gonna have to call your mom to pick you up”… I kinda laughed insisting that he had to be joking. I kept pushing and joking that this wasn’t a time to be funny, I really did have to be home, He responded again, “I’m not joking, I really am not able to drive you home”. That’s when I realized it was something bigger than me assuming he just didn’t want me to leave. We sat there for the next 20 minutes talking about how he had just been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis and that he was in fact, in that moment, having an episode. His entire left side had gone numb and he was experiencing what they call as a bear-hug moment- a feeling that you’re entire body is being hugged tightly causing shortness of breath and panic. By this time, he was in tears and quite embarrassed that this was the way I found out. He had found out a few weeks earlier, but didn’t know how to break the news because we had only been dating a few months. In this moment, he gave me the out. He told me he would never expect me to stay with him because he didn’t know what circumstances would lie ahead. We had already been dealing with some issues with his sons mom and he knew this could potentially be the straw that broke the camels back.

In all honesty, I went home in shock that night. I didn’t know how to process it for myself. I had NO idea what MS was or what the disease entailed. All I knew was that it didn’t scare me. It wasn’t something that was going to be a deal breaker either. And truthfully, I was familiar with the responsibilities of being a caretaker (I’ll save this story for a later blog post) and this was it, I was already too far in love to dip now. Okay, let’s get back…

We had the conversation that I was in it for the long-haul, no matter what that looked like. Giann had scheduled his spinal tap for late May so that I could be there and help with his recovery. Again, too long of a story to get into about his experience with a spinal tap… I’ll save that for, yet again, another juicy blog post. After we get the results of the spinal tap, we go into his neurologist office to get the treatment plan. We’re sitting in his office, he walks in (doesn’t look at us), pulls his scans to the Xray machine, and says, “Yeah, you definitely have MS- these are the lesions on your brain and your spinal cord, you will need either a cane or a walker by the time you hit twenty-five, so just brace yourself for that.” Ummm. Wow. way to be direct, Doc.

If you know anything about Giann, he’s a “worst case scenario” type of guy. This has it’s strengths, but definitely it’s weaknesses as well. So, we have the diagnosis. We have the devastating truth (doctors) about what life would (could) look like for us. Needless to say, it was a tough hit for us. From switching to a vegan/plant based diet, to breathing techniques, to choosing self-injections three times a week. It was such a huge shift for our reality. It was also the opportunity we needed to see God in the BIGGER picture. It was the opportunity to SEE God in the entire picture.

There’s been tons of different details that have played into our shifting view on his diagnosis, but what thing has always remained true, God is still faithful:

He is still a healer, healing.

He is still a comforter, comforting.

He is still sustainer, sustaining.

You see, every year we celebrate Gianns birthday (which, to me, is the BIGGEST deal), we don’t just share another year of life, we celebrate another year of God’s faithfulness to not having him use a walker or a cane. It’s another year to celebrate that God has the final say in our realities.

We celebrate the continual healing that’s taking place.

We celebrate the beautiful life we do have.

We celebrate the joy that’s pouring out.

We celebrate that his disease is not his identity.

Every year, I see the growth in Giann. I see the fight for faith he has to daily choose. I get to witness, firsthand, the perseverance to not settle in a diagnosis and raise up the white flag. I am able to partake in the daily celebrations that his life will be a witness and testimony of God’s power. And that right there, is good stuff.

And, here’s to another year of God saying his truth holds more weight and more relevance than a doctors idea of what life “should” look like for us.